Megan Engelhardt

I feel like there’s almost no time to catch a breath. When there is, there’s too much to think about in one breath. It doesn’t help that my brain can’t focus in the best of times.

And friends, these are NOT the best of times.

So here is a walk with no coherent theme, just a few times around a pond, with the scattered thoughts in my brain.

I don’t really *play* Pokemon Go any more, but I do enjoy opening it up and having a buddy walk with me. I don’t want to have to think about putting time in but it’s something to do so I’m not awkwardly avoiding eye contact when I’m walking. I’m sure it looks extra lazy, looking at my phone while I’m walking, but it’s a task that is a reason to not be looking at people.

Have I mentioned I’m people awkward?

This cut-out made me jump when I first noticed it.

I’m pretty sure it’s to keep geese away. I think my husband has some on his campus? I vaguely remember him talking about having coyote cut-outs, and I think it was goose-related, but I can’t remember.

It’s proper summer warm now, which is nice, except that my walks are often done in bike shorts, which have no pockets. I’m not sure how to carry my keys. My phone, as mentioned above, is in my hand. What do we do with our keys, walking people? Do I go full camp counselor and get a lanyard? Do I just suck it up and carry them in my hand? Do I have to bring a bag? That doesn’t seem comfy.

These guys were pretty.

There are two fountains in this lake. They look nice but it kind of irked me that the trees were not planted so as to be properly between them in photos.

Or maybe they are and I just didn’t try hard enough?

I took a selfie, I don’t know why. I don’t really like, you know, the way I look. At all. But it seems important to sometimes be in a picture. And I did manage to get those fountains lined up a little better, so that’s worth documenting.

There’s this one piece of art here in one corner of the lake.

Corner? Can lakes have corners?

I took a picture from the other side, too, but I liked the jutting triangle flower bed in this one. It is very Star Wars.

I don’t like that tall grass, though. We have a bunch in our flower beds and I just really don’t love it. It’s a pain to try to get rid of, though, so we just leave it.

A nice wind kicked up while I was walking. It made me think about rain. Our upcoming beach vacation is being threatened with a lot of rain, which means a lot of time inside the house. We need to come up with stuff for them to do if they can’t be outside. I have a shopping list for after my walk. I should probably pack more t-shirts than tank tops if we’re going to be inside a lot; the AC is cold. I need to pack my clothes. I need to pack for the kids. I need to check my preparation lists – what needs done before we leave, what needs to be gotten ready, can I find everything I need to find?

I haven’t written in nearly three weeks. Every time I sit down there’s something else that needs my attention. Every time I try to sequester myself and get something done there are no words. I don’t have a current project. I’m stymied on all of them. I’m trying to read some new books but again, there’s always something else that needs my attention. I know sometimes people catch up on their reading on vacation. They must not have kids.

There was something about the aesthetic of this tree, full and bright green, waving in the wind, mow lines making a checkerboard in the grass. I liked that. It was pleasing.

I’m not actually diagnosed with ADHD. See, to do that, I have to contact somewhere that does the diagnosis. But that task stops existing when I stop thinking about it.

Like cleaning the car. I need to clean the car. But the car stops existing when I leave the garage. The laundry stops existing in the washer once I’m upstairs. My to-do list stops existing once I walk away from it. (And then it gets lost on my desk and never exists again.)

The youths can take my gifs from my cold, dead hands.

Walking while listening update: Exploring the Lord of the Rings episode 117. (I checked and the most recent episode is 341 so I’ve got a nice long backlog to get through. That’s good; this is my comfort listening podcast.)